I Have Absolutely No Problem With This

Posted on April 16, 2012 by

This is actually a pretty close representation of how I dance:

I also give private lessons, and am available for weddings, bat mitzvahs, and other events.

(h/t Starts With A Bang)

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Collateral Damage

Posted on April 3, 2012 by

As a follow-up to the last post, I’m wondering whether or not gun-rights advocates, or whatever else they call themselves, would consider the most recent school-massacre as a “price” of the Second Amendment.  Freedom ain’t free, and so on, and if one wants a society in which gun ownership is guaranteed or the right to bear arms is secured, then every once in a while we must be prepared to endure events like this.  Sort of a subset to the proposition that “Freedom=Dead Soldiers” therefore “Second Amendment=Dead Students,” with the caveat that of course we would like to make this tithe as minimal as possible, but there’s no avoiding it in the long run.

Of course, I think this is bullshit, either one of those propositions.  But structurally I can’t see much of a difference.

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Promotionalkittenbaskets Cost a Buck-o-five

Posted on March 28, 2012 by

This gem from the first (and sadly, looks like only) issue of Conservative Teen magazine:

LOLZRIGHT?!?

The world gets better with each passing day.

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Agenda Movie Club: 50/50

Posted on March 21, 2012 by

50/50

Jonathan Levine

2011

I may be imagining this, but when this came out, I somehow remember people talking about how 50/50 figured out a way to “make cancer funny.” I don’t think this is quite right– the cancer still is very unfunny, it’s just that there are some funny things going on around it. The cancer is still awful.

The funny is very funny. Mostly thanks to Seth Rogen. You can dislike the guy if you want, but I wouldn’t recommend it. I remember seeing him in “Freaks and Geeks” and wondering what in the world was up with that guy (why is he talking that way?). He has a style that is distinct and a sense of timing that seems spontaneous (can it be?). I like him. He goes blue really well.

I also like Joseph Gordon-Levitt, but I kind of felt like he didn’t quite get there, here. He can be excellent, but, for me, he was the least memorable part of this movie. Tough role to play.

I also didn’t love them injecting the love interest storyline with Gordon-Levitt and Anna Kendrick’s therapist. It felt tossed in (Amy called it instantly) and too Hollywood. I realize this is a semi-autobiographical story, so maybe the screenwriter really did fall for his therapist, but just because something happened in real life doesn’t mean it should be in a movie (we must have learned that by now). I doubt it really happened, though. Felt more like, “where’s the girl? We need a girl!”

Also, that’s the most you’re ever going to see me complain about Anna Kendrick in anything. She’s fantastic.

These are small problems. I sometimes make it sound like my complaints are bigger than they really are. This is a funny, touching movie, and I liked it a lot. It was great to see Matt Frewer, and also Philip Baker Hall, who is actually finally starting to look a little older after looking the same age (still old, but slightly less old) for a very long time. Anjelica Huston has become very, very good at playing a mother (between this and Darjeeling Limited). Cancer must be a very hard thing to make a movie about, and especially a movie that’s not schmaltzy, and 50/50 threads that needle well.

Also, they work for a public radio station. Natch. Hippies.

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Agenda Movie Club: A Separation

Posted on March 20, 2012 by

A Separation

Asghar Farhadi

2011

I don’t know that I can be sure to mention everything I was thinking while watching this movie. I’ll try to get some of it.

First of all, my general thought progression was, “ok, this is about these two people who are separating in their marriage. But, of course, we’ll just use this as a springboard for the rest of the story. Yes, look at all of these other things that are happening, and the moral and religious and social issues, and the rich characters. Yes, how fascinating. Oh, wait. It turns out it actually was about the separation the entire time. Wow.”

What I mean is this: Take out the “crime” (and I use the quotes because it’s unclear if there ever was a crime, although he probably shouldn’t have pushed that woman) and you’re basically left with the same movie. Much of the way Nader and Simin behave is exactly what you’d expect when two people are losing their marriage. Duplicity, self-preservation, conflicted feelings and inconsistent behavior. Manipulation. The crime adds another level of dramatic tension, yes, but all of these things would still be there without it. I think that’s masterful.

And what’s more is that none of these people seem to be “bad” people. Or even “kind-of-bad” people. They actually seem to be generally well intentioned people, doing the best they can given the circumstances.

As is often the case, I wondered through much of the movie what I wasn’t getting because I don’t understand the subtleties of the Iranian social structure. I have to assume that there was stuff that I didn’t even notice that impacts the story in some way. Which isn’t to say that it’s difficult to understand– it’s not, much of what we see is universal. Or, at least, the feelings behind what we see are universal.

Some things are not. The legal system. This is very, very different from what we’re used to. I don’t know that what we see in the movie is an accurate representation of the Iranian legal system, but it seems like a pretty strange thing to make up, so I figure it probably is. Religion. We’re a little more used to people living their lives according to religious tenets, although not as often to the extreme we see here. To me, it seems like such a burden. Do the people in the movie feel that way? Do they feel so restricted? I can’t tell. I can’t tell if the woman who must call her adviser to determine if Islam allows her to do this or to do that is extreme even within her society, or if this is the norm. It seems like such a complex endeavor, to move around in everyday life. This movie has so many layers, and these characters have so many pressures.

Would I feel the same way about my own life if I looked at it through a different lens? I don’t know. None of this is a barrier to entry for the movie– yes, it plays on many levels, but much of what happens does seem mundane. I don’t mean this negatively. Even the drama surrounding the crime seems mundane. It’s not spectacular in any way, and it’s completely believable that these are things that could happen, and these are ways people would react. It’s real, and it’s relatable.*

And I haven’t even mentioned the daughter, who, maybe, is the real center of the story.

I feel like I haven’t even started talking about this movie. It really is something.



*I learn “relatable” is one of those words that makes people mad because at one point it wasn’t a word, or it didn’t mean what it means now. This is not a dead language.

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Agenda Movie Club: John Carter

Posted on March 16, 2012 by

John Carter

Andrew Stanton

2012

Look, maybe I didn’t say every single little tiny syllable, no. But basically, I said ‘em, yeah.

So, I learn that John Carter grossed about $30 million dollars last weekend, which isn’t terrible, except that it apparently cost $250 million, was expected to launch a major franchise, and came in second to an animated movie in its second weekend. I’ve seen the name Ishtar thrown around.

This is too bad, because the movie isn’t nearly bad enough to be seen as an historical bomb. Honestly, I don’t think it’s that bad at all. And with everything that comes with overseas sales (I assume big action movies play better in other countries than, say, dramas) and home video sales, etc., it’ll probably be fine, financially. It’s not exactly great, but it’s fun enough, and I think even more fun for people who are either young (like, kids) or old enough to be familiar with the books.

JP loved the books when he was a kid (he says Dejah Thoris was the ideal woman when he was nine) and so he was excited to see this, and I think had a good time. He said it reminded him of Flash Gordon– which Michael Wilmington points out was, itself, a complete ripoff of the original John Carter (I would have gone with Army of Darkness, and did, multiple times during the movie– but that’s its own ripoff of dozens of other things, so there we are). In fact, go read that entire Wilmington review, I think it has a lot of good things to say about this movie and John Carter’s place in history.

Pretty much all movies with a ton of CGI are basically cartoons (or they look that way to me), and this one is no different. But the action is big, and there are some pretty impressive CGI creations (the entire Thark race, really, and definitely the white apes, which are like humongous berserkers), and it’s just kind of neat, you know?

The problems are two, and they’re not small problems. The first is Taylor Kitsch. I kinda just didn’t feel like there was any there, there. He has muscles, assuming those were real and not 300-ed in.

The other problem is strange, considering the movie’s pedigree– there’s just no real heart (I think Wilmington gets at this, too, or if not him, someone else I read). This is strange because at least some part of the movie was written by Michael Chabon. And if there’s anything that Chabon is really, really good at, it’s taking genre fiction and giving it some real feeling. Heart. But that’s not here. I find myself wondering which parts Chabon wrote (or was responsible for… it’s possible nothing he actually “wrote” ended up in the movie, but maybe some devices or scenarios he came up with did). I want to say maybe he had something to do with the Edgar Rice Burroughs character. But I have no idea.

But anyway, it’s not boring, and even if it’s not exceptional it’s still a decent time. And big.

I saw the movie in 2-D. (Or, as our local theater says, “NOT 3-D!!!”)

Update: I don’t think I can overstate how much some people love these books. I had a professor in college who was named after John Carter. For a certain part of the population, these books were a really, really big deal.

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Where Troubles Melt Like Lemon Drops

Posted on March 12, 2012 by

I love Kansas–it’s the Kansans I have a problem with:

A Kansas House committee is scheduled to take up a bill Wednesday that would exempt doctors from malpractice suits if they withheld medical information to prevent an abortion. The measure would also take away tax credits for abortion providers, remove tax deductions for the purchase of abortion-related insurance coverage and require women to hear the fetal heartbeat. The bill includes several provisions, which passed in other states and now face federal lawsuits. The bill would also require women be told about potential breast cancer risks from abortions, even though medical experts discount such a connection.

Chrissake.  And this:

Among the most contested provisions of the bill is the section that would exempt a doctor from a medical malpractice suit if a woman claims the physician withheld information about potential birth defects to prevent her from having an abortion. In addition, a woman would not be able to sue if she suffers health damage from a pregnancy as a result of information withheld from her to prevent an abortion.

The mind reels.  Although, it’s not like we couldn’t see this coming.  The present is upon us, and the future will be the unholy deformed and stillborn seed we had no idea about because that information was legally withheld to prevent us from stopping it.

I’m normally dystopian, but this is a little much.

Bonus:  Dictionary.com gives this marvelous sentence as an example of how to use “dystopia”:

To this dystopia of video and reggae alongside timeless barbarism, Johnson is the perfect witness.

Smother your children and kill your pets while you still can.

 

 

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